I have waited to write on this subject because my heart was torn to pieces over this. Five years ago, FR Tom Malia, was removed for breaking rules. Once again, we lose a priest we love. This blog isn't to argue about the decision; it's to give voice to my own feelings on the matter. I miss Fr Ray. Tomorrow will be the second weekend without him. I am singing in the choir tomorrow, and I dread entering my church, just as I did last Sunday. No priest is perfect, but Fr Ray helped me and many others. Do I want the Archdiocese to let him return? Yes. Do I think they will? To a parish, yes. To us, no.
Those of us who were here in 2002 know how this works. We've been burned before like this. It hurts in the worst way. Tears, mine and others, have been cried and will be for awhile. Fr Ray is a beloved priest, as Fr Tom was. But I am no longer a 22 year old girl who believes that the power of our suffering will get us what we want. I do believe that God will use our pain and this time to do something positive. I am willing to fight for Fr Ray, and I wrote an email that basically begged the Archbishop to let him come back, but I can accept the decision if he doesn't return. I have to. I am not in control of the situation.
There is one thing I will do, however, come hell or high water: do what I can to protect our community. Fr Tom put tremendous effort into making us into a real community, and Fr Ray put tremendous effort into holding our community together after Fr Tom was removed. Damaging the community does nothing for what these two priests worked so hard for. Talking to my fellow parishioners in the hallway before Mass last Sunday, I tried to convey the idea that we need to stick together. I also tried to convey that in the last hospitality email I sent out. Yet I am just one parishioner. I can only do so much.
As for Fr John Williamson, I believe him when he says he did not make this happen or want this to happen. The rumors that he was involved to advance his career are unfounded. Anyone who saw his confusion and vulnerability last Sunday knows that. We have a duty to show our priests respect and concern. I don't like that some parishioners have hurt Fr John. He is relatively new, and, speaking personally, I have no attachment to him. I have great attachment to Fr Ray, but I think I can love and respect Fr Ray without hurting Fr John. They are both good priests, and this is not a popularity contest. Regardless of what the Archbishop decides about Fr Ray, at this moment Fr John is leading us and we need to pray for him and help him. The care of three parishes has just been laid on his shoulders without help from another priest. Let's not forget that we are not the only ones suffering right now.
With all that said, if they do not return Fr Ray to us, I will be sad for quite awhile. To no longer laugh with him, to no longer confess to him, to no longer receive his guidance, to no longer walk down West St and see him working on his garden or playing with his dogs, is a concept foreign to my mind. I may not be hysterical over this like I was about Fr Tom, but the heaviness in my heart is greater and the taste in my mouth is even more bitter. We have had Fr Ray longer. He has been there for me more times than I can count. My eyes are filling as I write this, but I am determined to remind my fellow parishioners that we have to keep our community together.
